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 When the Pastor's Wife Wears a New Dress My View by Julia The congregation is in utter shock. Minds are all wandering from the sermon topic. Questions are being bounced back and forth around the room mentally. You'd think all those thoughts would lead to utter mental confusion..."Where did the money come from?" "Where did she buy it at?" "How much did it cost?" "She's getting a little too fancy for this church isn't she?" "Does she think that looks good on her?" "She's spending the good money we pay her husband for her to get new dresses? ...How shocking!" Not long ago I was talking to a friend who is a pastor's wife and she had told me about how she had bought two new dresses at a department store. She was in one of her gain then lose weight stages (I guess most ladies know about that!) and she just was to that point...you know the point where nothing fits you anymore or is totally worn out and you don't have a thing to wear! Anyway she found a great sale and decided it would be cheaper to go ahead and get two dresses at once as she really needed them and it was such a great buy. She told me how one lady in particular had said something to her the first Sunday she wore the first new dress. Then the next week, not wanting to wear two new dresses in a row but not having much of a choice, my friend took the plunge and did it anyway. That same lady was there to tell her she liked her new dress again but had to add that inexplicable "two new dresses in a row" comment that just melted my friend's spirits. I know people don't mean to sound harsh and crass, but if you are a pastor's wife, especially with a small congregation in your church, you probably know how she felt. Many a ministry wife has went through it. Most of the congregation has your wardrobe memorized and probably have it down to a science more that you do of when and what you'll be wearing as most pastor's wives wardrobes don't extend to much. You try to space those few outfits out over the month and rotate them in such a way as to avoid looking like you wear the same thing all of the time, even though you do. Now if you vary in the least, say wear a different lapel pin or necklace with a different outfit, believe me it does not go unnoticed. All of this considered, sometimes, be it few and far between, the pastor's wife needs a new dress! Okay, so you've got the new dress...when do you wear it first? A Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, special function? Heads of State never had a tougher decision! Whatever you decide you still feel guilty pulling that new fabric over your head. You feel guilty looking in the mirror and actually looking good for a change. You feel even guiltier when your husband says you look nice and your small children beam up at you. Almost before you go out the door, you're ready to run back in and change into something old! Then you do it, you wear the new dress to church for the first time. All eyes are on you as you enter the church. Those thoughts I mentioned earlier come into play. After church you don't know whether to stand by your husband to shake hands or make an excuse to run an errand to the nursery and hide, but you find yourself faithfully at your husband's side shaking hands at the door as the congregation leaves. There you're hit with it...the scrutinizing of everyone as they leave. Anything from "I like your new dress" to the scores of "Did you get a new dress?" Right. Like they don't know you got a new dress. They know your wardrobe better than you do but they have to say it...that "Did you?". Of course you did! You think to yourself that maybe next time you buy a new dress you'll have it printed in the bulletin or have your husband make an announcement that "Yes, the pastor's wife did get a new dress and no she won't take questions about it at the door." Please let me make an interjection here. I have been very blessed to be in congregations that are very gracious and have not judged me on my clothes or what I wear, but I am sad to say that such attitudes that a pastor or ministry wife should look and dress on a lower plain than anyone else do exist more often than we would like to think in our local churches. Just to let everyone into the secret of new clothes for pastor's wives, very few buy the most expensive at the most expensive department stores. Factory outlet stores, consignment shops, and even thrift stores are more likely the case. Personally, I like nice department stores that have great sales and then offer that extra 25% or so on top of the sale price. If you've been a ministry wife for long you know that you'd better get the best quality there is because believe me you may be wearing that outfit until the Lord comes back so you'd better make it a good one because you never know when the opportunity to get another new dress will come up. As a Matter of Opinion: I think that the pastor's wife and the wife of anyone in Christian work should look like a child of the King. If that means a new dress now and again then so be it. After all she is the pastor' wife and not the church mouse! If you are a pastor's wife or your husband is involved in Christian work, I hope you have found a little humor and encouragement in this article. Don't feel guilty the next time you wear a new dress. Know that you are God's child and He is the one you are depending on to lift your spirits not the members of the congregation. To those who are not a ministry wife and you want to be an encouragement the next time your pastor's wife gets a new dress, compliment her, but please don't interrogate her. She'll appreciate you for it and you will have been a blessing to her. Copyright ©2001-2002 Julia Bettencourt Not to be reproduced in any form without written permission. 
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