www.creativeladiesministry.com

[Preston]

One of the ladies that does a lot of the decorating and theme planning for our ladies comes up with beautiful decorations and favors for our Mother-Daughter banquet. I've worked with her and a couple of the other ladies with this event for several years and I'm growing more and more frustrated. I've printed off the entire list of themes that Julia provides on her website. I've given them the devotion ideas that go with the certain themes and all that, but they just don't seem to care.

Every year we've had themes like "Rainforest" "Garden Party" "Hawaii" "Patriotic" "Western" That's it. The theme doesn't go any farther than the decorations. I'm not one to barge in, take over and say "you are all wrong, let me do it" so I'm not very forward about my suggestions. I just feel that the spiritual aspect of the ministry is lost when we haphazardly come up with a theme that has no significance. I've even tried to get all of us to come up with ways to incorporate the decor theme into something that can be used for a devotion to, but they don't want to do that either.

They are already talking about this year being "The Forties" Again, I've made suggestions that the theme could be more than the decor and thus making the banquet much more meaningful but her response is "dressing up in the forties clothes would be so much fun" I'm not a killjoy that doesn't like to have fun, but we as a ministry need more spiritual growth and it seems that that aspect is continually left out of everything.

I don't want to sound like a complainer but since I'm part of the event planning committee, I think maybe I should be more bold about what I feel in my heart. But I don't want anyone to think I'm just trying to take over, I just want spiritual significance in the events and not just fun and games all the time. How in the world can I talk to anyone about this? Or should I just stay out of it and let it go?

Love
amanda

[shay]

Hi, I can understand your frustrations. I agree, a theme with spiritual meaning is much prefered, but I think relationships are more important than programs. What I mean by that, is dont let the program damage your relationships with people. In my opinion, it would be worse to create a situation where there could be hurt feelings or power struggles over a church program. These are the kinds of things the enemy uses to bring divisions amongst the sisters. Be supportive and pray that God would give them a revelation of something more meaningful. But be in submission even though you disagree and give the women your support. In the long run this will get you further for your cause.

[BarbaraJean]

Preston,
Hi! I certainly agree with you that it's important that these events also meet spiritual needs and have a spiritual focus. It's so easy for them to become simply social events.

I also understand how difficult it is to stand up for something you feel is right. Paul said that it wouldn't be easy. It's even more difficult when you have to do it among sisters in Christ instead of the world. You asked "Should I just stay out of it and let it go?" I strongly believe that when Christians "just stay out of it and let it go" that it will just keep "going, and going and going. . . "

Is it possible that you can pull a spiritual asspect into the forties theme? Then perhaps they will see that you can have fun and glorify God at the same time.

Perhaps some of the ladies here can give you some suggestions on some spiritual ideas that you can add if you can give us a little more info on what other activities are planned for the evening.

Or could you organize another event that won't appear to be in competition with this one which you could develop a theme?
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God Is Good All The Time. . .
Barb

[Prov31wannabe]

My option in this circumstance would be to take the ideas they are developing and ADD to them. If they want a 40's theme then I'd pray for inspiration----a theme that could be used with that decor/dress.

It was a time of war....something about spiritual warfare?
(The National Day of Prayer website sells a great poster with the Uncle Sam picture "I want you!" but it adds "to pray").

It was a different world...with old fashioned values. A theme about going back to old fashioned morals would be good --contrasting to our politically correct world of today (what changes have been for the better and what haven't).

Get the idea?
Instead of changing what they are doing, kick it up a notch (tm Emeril).
_________________
Colossians 1:27 ...."Christ in you, the hope of glory."

[Preston]

Those are all great ideas!

We all work together to plan the events, so there isn't just one person in charge, otherwise I would just give my suggestion and let it go. Since I'm heavily involved I do feel that I need to present what's on my heart maybe in a clearer way. I've perhaps been going about it the wrong way!

Adding a spriritual significance to the theme is what has been on my heart but so far I've been drawing a blank! Every year I draw a blank until the last minute and it's too late. What wonderful ideas about spiritual warfare, or the coming back to the old fashioned morals thing....fantastic!

Normally at our mother-daughter banquet we all bring a covered dish, (sometimes they fit into a specific theme). We play a couple of games, we have a short devotion from a special speaker (sometimes within our own ladies) and then we take pictures and go home.

We are actually looking for more ideas to change things up a bit. It's beginning to be monotonous and dull for some. The only thing that changes is the decor! That's why I thought that incorporating these wonderful theme suggestions that Julia offers would be a great start to a new beginning.

Are there any memorable things out there that you can suggest to incorporate into this special night?

Thanks for all your suggestions!

God bless you!
love
amanda

[Guest]

I may have a different opinion than all the others, but hear me out.
I recently started a womens ministry in our church.
When I brought it up, the ladies were excited, but also skeptical.
Because, they said to me "we have tried Bible studies, they go strong, then fizzle out" "we've had missions meetings, the ladies get bored with it" and on and on. Yet, at the same time, I knew they wanted to get together as a ladies group.
I noticed in Sunday School and different times us ladies were together, that what we really wanted to do was "talk"...hey, it's what we do!
So, I decided I would have a theme and build around it, and we would get together and eat and talk. It went over great! The first one I had, we began and ended with prayer, we played games, and we talked and we ate and I added a couple of bible verses that went with the theme into the game, and that was it! No other spiritual part in it. Next time, we had a SHORT devotion and a spritual song...next time it was a game that had to do with the Bible.... and sometimes we bring in mission minded things in, like sending cards out to people in the church or making something to take to someone, etc. and now, I do add spiritual aspects and I will have a devotion but, I didn't throw that out there at first. I let the ladies wade in and get their feet wet.
I agree with someone who said the relationships are more important than the programs. If you go little by little, I think you can begin to add some spiritual things. But remember, it's not UNspiritual to fellowship with believers and have fun.
I also agree that things can become social events, I am not saying I agree with this, but my question would be, are the ladies coming and do they enjoy it? If so, isn't that better than them "socially" having fun in the world somewhere else?
Don't we all like to get together with our friends and go out to eat or have a party? And when we do, do we have a devotion????
Maybe you could start an additional Bible Study at a different time. Or see if anyone would mind if you built a devotion around the themes they have chosen.
Maybe they have seen these things fizzle out in the past and they think it won't if they keep it "fun" - I try to keep mine fun for this reason, but I also know it's fun to include God in all of them.
My suggestion would be don't sweat it, pray for opportunity, I believe God will give you opportunity to include Him. But cautiously, because the relationships are so important too.
Because our fellowships are not threatening to non-believers, we have had many many visitors and have even gotten some regular attendees from this open door. These people may not have come to a bible study or even a mission meeting.
Keep praying for opportunity and keep your eyes open, I'm sure God will give you one.

[Corri]

I wonder if there is a way for you to work *with* these ladies and guide them into a spiritual meaning. Maybe they have never thought any farther than the party itself...like to the fact that most of these events are also outreach events. So, we're talking about "the fourties"....maybe someone in your church accepted Christ in "the 40's"....or maybe there is someone in *their* "40's" who's recently accepted Christ...or who was in their 40's when they did....there are your guest speakers!
We had a tough time when I took this over, too. I *need* a reason to have an event, and just to have one is a waste of my time and efforts. So, If I'm going to go all out, I need to know that the whole thing makes sense for eternity.
Your suggestions do not need to be overwhelming, but you could say things like "40's....I wonder...." or "what do you think about..." get them thinking about bringing Christ in and making the "party" about him!
_________________
Because He lives,
so do I--
Corri

[blessedcottage]

I do agree that having fellowship is certainly part of womens ministry. We should gather and have a fun time. Women are relational creatures and enjoy lots of talking and friendships. But at the same time, I agree with the earlier post that if women are going to give up time in their busy scheduals, that we need not waste their time. I know for us in the past, that there were many women who did not attend any of the womens events in our church because they felt it was just a social club and a waste of their time. Another thing I noticed, is that when its purely social a womens meeting can quickly turn sour or clickish. To keep the tone of the meeting godly and to build christ like relationships I believe the bible needs to be opened and the living word of God that transforms our hearts needs to be spoken.

I try to do both. I believe it is possible to have fun, fellowship, friendship and teaching to. Before every event, we have a time of eating together and enjoying eachothers company. We do potlucks, dinners, tea parts and the like. Then, we teach. We teach God's word and then usually I will build a disscussion question around the teaching. I find this is the key. If they get a time to disscuss and be interactive they enjoy the time of teaching and get more out of it. Rather than sitting around listining to me teach, they get involved in it.

[BarbaraJean]

Blessedcottage, very well said!!
_________________
God Is Good All The Time. . .
Barb

[Oma]

Everyone has voiced my feelings better than I could. But I do have one question. Have you said point blank "I would REALLY like to see us incorporate a spiritual aspect to this and here are some ideas of how?"

Although I agree that you don't want to hurt feelings I also feel that we are to call each others to reach a little further in our spiritual growth.

I think that "guest's" suggestion to SLOWLY add things might be the best way. Maybe you could have cards on the tables that encourage discussion around the topic that you decide on. Perhaps the spiritual warfare OR list the differences in the morals of the 40's and encourage discussion around that.

Good Luck, I'm in a similar boat with Children's Ministry. But I'm afraid I'm about to rock it just a bit. Too many of the folks caring for our little ones look at it as just babysitting.........but that's a whole different post <<grin>> Good luck and I will be praying for you.
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ysiHn&l;
Deb

[spiritfilldwoman]

Don't be shy. You are on the committee. Someone needs to step up to the plate and put GOD FIRST. IT IS NOT ABOUT US, IT IS ABOUT HIM. Perhaps each individual on the committee can put together their theme ideas. They would also be required to submit scriptural backing or significance to go with the theme. Then as a group, pray about it, surrender it to the Lord. If the individual submitting the idea cannot come up with a plan or a word from God, they should not submit it. IF WE SEEK HIM WITH ALL OUR HEART IN ALL THAT WE DO, HE WILL DIRECT OUR PATH. Perhaps you need to pray for your planning committee- that they hear God's voice. My idea for your theme is: Pearls of Wisdom. You can decorate with pearls and lace. Daughters can share the Pearl of Wisdom they received from their Mom. The facilitator can share some very special Pearls from their Heavenly Father. Good luck to you. Put your part in God's hands. May your cup runneth over!

[Dottie]

Themes are difficult, but so very important for a successful evening. Our Ladies Night Out Council really tries not to have a "spiritual theme". We feel that our fliers, advertisements, etc. might be more attractive to our non-churched women in the community. And, indeed this has worked. We have fun type themes, and/or seasonal themes. Lots of spiritual emphasis is plugged into the evening through the music, speakers, and various other ways. We have a Bible Verse for the year. So, for us, the non-Biblical themes have not been a problem, but rather a help in getting community ladies to come to our events. Once they come, they are always back for the other events.

[calicoangel]

I think the 40's theme will be a cute one. A good element to work in for the devotion part of the evening could be on the Biblical signifigance of the number 40. It's everywhere in the Old testament and the New. Or, that would be a great night to kick off the 40 Days of Purpose that the book The Purpose Driven Life talks about.
_________________
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

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[Guest]

I never thought of the 40's theme that way. What a good idea.