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[amyb]

I am a sahm, so it seems I should have ample time to spend alone w/Him, but I just cannot seem to find it I am a young pastor's wife with four small children-one is in school-the others at home. I just feel like I'm always doing something either for church or at church or cleaning house or cleaning kids. When is it my turn? I try so hard to enjoy my children, and I reeeaally do-they are soooo sweet and fun-except at 8:30pm trying to get them in bed and then at 5:30am when my littlest one is up for the day. They don't all take naps at the same time and I just cannot seem to get up earlier than 5:30-of course by the time they are in bed and the kitchen is clean and a couple loads of laundry are done, what's left-
I keep my praise music on a lot of the day, and really try to focus on him when I am still for a moment (like rocking the baby, or in the shower), but to really sit down and study His Word and really "be still" I don't even know what "still" is.
I feel so guilty at church when someone has a need and I say I'll be praying for them-or even when I speak up in SS-who am I to speak up at church or lead anything when I cannot even spend a little time each day with Him?
I also am trying to loose weight-I feel guilty if I excercise bc I could use that time to study, I feel guilty if I study, bc I think I should be excercising. Can you feel my frustration?
My mother was the Godliest woman I knew, she lost a battle with breast cancer 2 years ago, so now I cannot even confide in her. I love the Lord and I remember seeing her in her rocker studying and worshiping-I sure wish I could be like her.
Any advice
I appreciate a place like this to vent a little. Thanks for "listening".
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In His grip and grace.

[savedbygrace]

Amyb I know where you are coming from. I have had the same problem lately. Although my children are in school, I go to school to and it is so hard to find the time you need. I feel really guilty a lot of times because in nursing school I have to devote a lot of time to school and then I spend 2 to 3 hours every evening on the ball field with my kids and still have to carry my homework to study while I am there. Don't feel that you are a lone in this. I will keep you in my prayers because you sound like you have your hands full with your children.
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I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me!!!!!

[jodi]

I completely understand your frustration. I also am a pastor's wife, mother of three (ages 3,4,5) and I work full-time outside the home. I think one of the things that helped me the most was realizing that I did not have to spend hours every day praying and reading my Bible in order to be spiritual. Now don't get me wrong, that is a wonderful way to spend a couple of hours but not everyone has that time. I got the impression while growing up that if you did not get up very early and spend a lot of time reading and praying that you just were not at all spiritual. I have since learned that there is no set amount of time that you must spend reading and praying in order to be spiritual. I do my quiet time as I can. I pray while driving or while in the shower. I read when I get the opportunity throughout the day. It is usually not a lot at one sitting but scattered throughout the day.
I learned a valuable lesson from a mother of five. She was overwhelmed with being spiritual and doing all the things she thought was required of one to be spiritual. She felt she could not keep up with it all and be a good mother to her children. The Lord showed her from the life of Jacob the following verse - Gen 33:14 Let my lord, I pray thee, pass over before his servant: and I will lead on softly, according as the cattle that goeth before me and the children be able to endure, until I come unto my lord unto Seir.
Sometimes you have to lead on softly for the sake of the the children (and for the sake of your sanity) Don't overwhelm yourself with high expectations. The Lord knows your heart and the desires of your heart. He knows you long to fellowship with Him. Ask Him to guide you and to help you be creative in finding ways to be still and study.
Sorry to be so lengthy. It's just that I completely understand your feeling of being overwhelmed. Been there, done that, and still visit that place on occassion.
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Jodi
Jer 32:27 Behold, I [am] the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?

[Prov31wannabe]

I am currently doing a study on Life Management and this comes from my personal conviction as well as what I have learned thru this book (wonderful...written by Elizabeth George....I recommend it!)....

Two words:
Choices
Boundaries

Do not seek to "find" time for the Word and prayer (not gonna happen)...CHOOSE to MAKE the time.
Elizabeth insists that our "first" time (as in early morning) is the best time to give but I have to respectfully disagree with her-----I think that we all face different challenges and interruptions in our days.
Mornings do work for me sometimes and it IS great to start our day with God as our focus (sets a tone for the day).
But....
Take a month or so and really focus on your days. Be very conscious of the things you are choosing to spend your time on.....
What changes can you make?
God deserves our time.....figure out when you are at your best and give Him some of that time.

Set some rules and enforce boundaries.
Sarah Wesley (wife of Methodist founder John Wesley) had NINETEEN children. She would sit in a rocker with a dozen or so little ones playing at her feet and throw her apron over her head and pray.
Her kids were trained to undertand that when Momma was doing this, she was in the presence of God and she was not to be disturbed.
Boundaries!
Set them and enforce them.
(This includes learning to unplug the phone or let the machine answer it....ignoring a knock at the door---hang a sign that says "do not disturb"....and learning to say "NO"!)

I know this sounds a bit harsh. And it's hard stuff to do. I certainly do not have my spiritual time perfected.
So be encouraged by one last comment from this study:
SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING
AIM FOR MORE
Live by those words and don't give up!!
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Colossians 1:27 ...."Christ in you, the hope of glory."

[Oma]

I think that a lot of us struggle with this. I can remember one lady, a pastors wife, who I thought must spend hours with God.

Her disposition was so graceful and her knowledge of God's word deep.

Come to find out she too struggled with the same issues that you have brought up. Though I know that what Proverbs31wannabe may have sounded impossible (you have a lot going on) But it really isn't it will take some planning.

OH! and what a great testemony to your children! "Mommy is going to spend time with God now. So I want you to go play in your room" (Please know that I DO understand that this is also easier said than done. I have three grandbabies under the age of 5 [a four year old and twin 2 year olds] who spend LOTS of time with us. But persevere)

When my life is particularly hectic and I feel my self drifting from God, I turn off the news as I ride to work (the heck with whether there is a traffic jam up a head I can't keep from being stuck in it) Sometimes I plug in a teaching tape sometimes praise music. I went through the book of Revelations this way. I have been known to read while I am washing the dishes.

But don't beat your self up. I will be praying for you.
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ysiHn&l;
Deb

[amyb]

I just wanted to thank you ladies for praying for me and giving me such sound advice. I wanted to give you a quick report on how God answers prayers. This morning the cat woke me up-I realized it was already 6:30; the baby slept late I got up and had a quiet time before anyone else woke up-PTL! And then all my children took a nap at the same time so I even got to work out a little while.
We'll see how often that happens again, but I do know that it's no coicidence that I posted this message 2 days ago and today everything seemed to just fall into place.
God is good-All the time!
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In His grip and grace.

[Oma]

PRAISE GOD!
I will continue to keep you and other sahm in my prayers. If I had my life to do over again I would change the fact that I worked while my son was young. I truely have respect for those of you who are willing to make the sacrifice (Working in an office is a LOT less stressful) of staying at home and working at the MOST important job in the world (Next to being a providing Dad that is) Motherhood.

God bless you. And may He remind you that when you are not able to have times like this He is still with you.
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ysiHn&l;
Deb

[preachywife]

i was touched by your post here. I have raised my three girls the past nine years in church, totally wrapped up in 'everyone' else but my children. My oldest is now 19 and gone *partially * from home and the other two are 17 and 12. Looking back and reading YOUR post all I can think of are two things.
raise up a child in the way in which they shall go. YOUR memory that you posted about YOUR MAMA was seeing her in a rocking chair in worship and YOU speak of WORSHIPPING while rocking your babies or in the shower. KNOW that they are watching even when you think not. ANOTHER is my study I did of Proverbs 31 woman.
RISE UP EARLY I know I am not a morning person. My mind races to the day before me and all that is to be done. How in the world can I find time to study.. BUT let me tell you, if you put aside that time, the rest of your day will flow even better then you could imagine. Maybe the guilt is in the root of what yOu already know and confess here one to another. DON"T let satan show you a HUGE book and tell you you don't have time. STUDY TO SHOW THYSELF APPROVED. YOU CAN DO IT!!! thru CHRIST~ It takes dedication and discipline. I will pray FOR YOU. set aside that ten minutes of a morning and OPEN IT UP.. read your sunday school scripture for the day, read ONE PSALM, it will make a big differance and YOU will grow in the WORD~. I speak all this from 'been there done that'. YOU Surely wont want your children to NOT find the time for STUDY...set an example for THEM, and PLEASE GOD.
MUCH PRAYER FOR YOU sister..and email me anytime!
HUGS!
preachywife

Ps. I figure once you do this, GOD will even open time for YOU and YOUR hubby to spend time together. There will be plenty of Times for the church and GODS work he has for you. Love them babies in the LORD before you awake one day and they are GONE! I think we pastor wives sometimes get caught up in the CHURCH and forget our families.. SOme one once reminded me, GOD ordained the FAMILY in the GARDEN of EDEN before he ordained the CHURCH! [/b]

[Oma]

AMEN Preachywife!
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ysiHn&l;
Deb

[Prov31wannabe]

Yes...amen!!
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Colossians 1:27 ...."Christ in you, the hope of glory."

[barbara]

OH GOD BLESS YOUR SWEET HEART::::: HONEY dont despair, your day will come, in meantime DONT MISS THE BOAT>...... ENJOY THOSE BABIES TO YOUR FULLEST, thats what god gave them to you for hon, train them in his way, take care of them, rock them, sing to them, do not let them get on your nerves, enjoy what god so graciously gave you, i can say this as i had four under foot too and i counted it a blessing each day, l5 yrs ago i buried my middle son Jeffrey, age 24,, to look in a coffin upon a dead childs face is a nightmare i wouldnt wish on Hitler. I pray you find grace in your children,,,,,,, for they truly are a gift of god,,, as far as being over weight,,, so be it,,,,,, y ou will have time when kids are grown to DIET,,,,, DIETS are no fun anyway,,,,,,,, HERES AN IDEA,, WAS A DISH, ONE AT A TIME OK, WITH EACH DISH, PRAY FOR ONE SOUL, not only will your dishes get done sooner, but that soul has been prayed for,,,,,, you will be surprised how many people you pray for before those dishes are done............... ask hubby to put kids to bed just one night out of your life alone......... take a hot bath, light candles, play music while your in the tub,,,,,,, IF YOU DONT DO THIS FOR Y OU,,,,,, YOUR GONNA MISS THE BOAT............... GOD BLESS KEEP YOU I WILL PRAY FOR YOU
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I am 65 my husband is a minister, I enjoy going with him and helping in o ur church, but sometimes i feel so inadequate, i dont feel like im living up to my end of the deal, i try but i cant council with ladies, i try,,,,,,, help

[Guest]

Those are some great ideas Barb! I especially like the part about praying as we wash dishes! I hate doing dishes (and folding clothes) but maybe this will make it more enjoyable for me! (even though the advice wasn't FOR me per sae)

[amyb]

I'm soooo sorry about your son I do praise the Lord every day for 4 healthy pregnancies, 4 healthy beautiful children, and pray that they will stay that way.

And as far as the diets... I don't really do that, I have cut back, but I certainly don't deprive myself... I really don't eat that much, it's just that I want to be healthy-my mother passed away from breast cancer and was so young (44 when diagnosed), and they say that a healthy lifestyle reduces the risk of cancer. And I certainly don't want my children to go through losing me like I lost mine.

I am excited about the idea of praying for each dish-my husband actually does the dishes , but I do the laundry and that would certainly work then.

Since you ladies have been praying, my baby has slept later and I get up to study and worship and when he takes a nap, I put my girls in front of a movie and I can get my workout done

I appreciate your prayers and could use some encouragement. I actually signed up on Dr. Phil's message board for some encouragement, but there's nothing like the christian advice you guys give.

Thanks!
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In His grip and grace.