www.creativeladiesministry.com

[luvmyyp]

You know the saying, "the seven year itch"? Well, I am having the 10 year itch. My dh and I have been in the ministry for 10 years and I am feeling a little depressed. I feel like my whole married life has been revolving around a church schedule for so long that I have forgotten what a marriage without ministry could be like?!?! ANyone else feel this way or am I way off based and insane?
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me (30)
hubby (31)
Nick (2)
Drew (1)

[BarbaraJean]

Oh, luvmyyp, you are not insane! What a perfectly normal emotion for ministry wives. It is so easy to allow church activities to dictate your whole life.

I'm 34 and we've been in the ministry for 16 years. A few years ago my husband decided that we needed to "get a life". He took up golfing. I picked my crocheting back up.

We also realized that if our sons were going to go to revival services and all those services at other churches that they needed some fun stuff too. We have always taken them everywhere with us. We started trying to go to McDonalds or something like that after those types of services.

Ben takes them golfing and we go camping. We're always open to new things to do with them. We've found that we won't always make the effort to fit something else into our schedule just for us but we have no intentions of losing our children. They are our most important calling!

And believe me, when you start taking a little time for yourself and time for just you and your hubby - you'll do a much better job of serving your people and you'll love it more.

I remember being where you are. I don't know if you've reached this stage or not but I got to the place that I hated everything I was doing and resented everybody because of it. If you haven't reached that place you will if you don't start taking time for yourself.

I know that it may be difficult to get started - but YOU CAN DO IT!!

By the way I also have a Nic ( he shortened it). He's the one with the mischievous eyes and blue shirt. He's 12. His brother is 14, Mitchell.
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God Is Good All The Time. . .
Barb

[Preston]

You know, I almost didn't even look at this particular forum b/c I figured that my husband and I weren't Pastors or preachers so this wasn't for me. Something(the Holy Spirit) prompted me to come and take a look anyway and I'm so glad I did!

My husband and I are still newlyweds (married just one year) and we are expecting our first child in April. He and I teach the Jr. High class on Wednesday nights. We volunteer in the nursery during Sunday School. He's the sound man and I'm the praise and worship leader. Plus my regular day job is being the secretary here at church. That doesn't even include all the extra stuff we volunteer for randomly throughout the month. Needless to say, I'm at this church practically everyday of the week and I have to admit it gets me down sometimes.

I felt like I was way too "new" in the ministry to start feeling frustrated. I see people who've been doing this a lot longer than me who seem to have it all together! So I felt guilty for wanting time to myself or even just away from the church.

It sounds terrible coming out of my mouth but honestly I sometimes feel kind of resentful to those people who come to our meetings at church and say they can't possibly volunteer for anything b/c they spend so much time here already. When in truth, they are rarely here for regular service! I get so frustrated b/c I'm always here, and I feel guilty for taking time off, so I just don't. That's not a good attitude for me to have and I know it!

It's nice to know there are others out there that feel the same way. I'm not a horrible person for wanting time off! Now if I can just do something about it
We all get tired, we all get frustrated. We all need some time for ourselves. Even Jesus had to take time to be alone

Love
amanda

[Guest]

I remember feeling this way about 4 years ago.
My husband has been in the ministry for 14 years.
Every fight we ever had was about CHURCH
Every time the kids didn't want to go somewhere it was CHURCH
When we had two things to do we always had to choose the one that included the CHURCH
We fought about the ministry so much I just knew that if he left the ministry our marrige would be perfect!
I hated moving. I despised leaving jobs that I loved. I wanted to be like a "normal" family and do "normal" things and have "normal" jobs and not have to leave friends and family. Iwanted to be able to go on weekend trips or go camping over the weekend.
But instead, we were in the ministry.
I had a very depressing year.
Then God showed me how BLESSED I am to be in this position.
What I was seeing as a CURSE was a gift from HIM.
I began to dig deep into the word and find what He wanted from me and began to enjoy what job was placed before me.
I sought out the help of some other pw's and found out I was not insane
either.
I didn't come to the conclusion overnite. And there are still times it's really hard, but it was burn out. I was not taking time for myself like was stated previously. I was not taking time for God which was devistating. I was trying to do it on my own and that took all the blessings and joy out of it.
Take time for yourself. Take time for God. Take time for your family.
Let God do it not you.
Realize your calling. Realize the blessing. Thank Him daily for the opportunity He has given you.
He is so good...all the time.

[ka]

You must take time for yourself and your husband. Get away!!! Go somewhere for the weekend, the church will survive without you for one Sunday. Go to another church, get ministered to. Don't even discuss church business. My husband and I have pastored 14 years and you have to take some time for yourself. It is amazing what a weekend trip can do for your outlook.